Lycosidae Spp.
I found this little guy wandering around and had to get some shots.
Barren
I seem to have little to no creativity lately. It could be that I’ve been working overtime a lot the last couple of weeks. The last thing I want to do when I get home is stare at a computer screen. I’ve also been having slep issues, so that’s a factor, I’m sure. Oh well.Be The Big Naked Ball of Grossness
It’s hot here, like an oven on fire. 97°F on the inside. 5 fans blowing hot air, a vortex of hellish fumes swirling away from my sweaty, unclothed and gasping corpse. The cats are plotting mutiny again, although slowed by the heat — a lethargic coup on hold as they hug the water dish. It was just winter yesterday…The Droning of Melancholic Airs
I’ve accomplished very little in the past few days. Not much of a distraction from my usual path. Let’s see, I caught a jumping spider and hacked together a little environment for it while it lives with me. I managed not to spend much money. I found out my glucose is normal. I found out my insurance doesn’t pay for mammograms. I rediscovered my love of rain and thunder. I ate a whole box of cookies. Yeah….Orange Soda Memories
This whole week has been trying. No money, sickly, and really hot. I’m sure they all contribute to each other, like some vile and putrid ecosystem of stress. I try to sleep, but end up staring at the darkness. I try to look towards the coming weeks with a pasted smile on my face, but my eyes are still hollowed. I pretend not to see the bold, screaming − on my account balance. I wake with a dull pound in my ears and shake my way through the day, collapsing sleepless in my stagnant hole. The little joy I find is watching the funnel web spiders (Agelenopsis sp.) along the drive construct and deconstruct, abandon and move a few leaves over, continuing the previous day’s wait for opportunity… Next time, I want to be a spider.The shell is cracked and Gorgeous
Feeling better. Still have some ugly congestion in my chest and a lot of fatigue. Dr. prescribed breathing treatments and large amounts of fluids. Trying to intake that much water is hard, especially when you know you have to. I’m an instant rebel and often times find myself using reverse psychology just to get through life. Tell me I can’t do something and I’m wanting nothing more than to do that which is forbidden. Tell me I have to do something and I want nothing less than that wretched task with which I’m burdened. When will I ever truly grow up?The Drip Drops
I had trouble sleeping last night, mainly breathing issues, which I attributed to allergies and the cat sleeping on my face. Turns out I have a really annoying head cold, a lot of wheezing, sneezing and dripping. My throat was apparently scrubbed raw by tiny gnomes with sandpaper shoes sometime in the night. I, needless to say, feel like shit.
Lokfi-toba.
Life's a butter dream
So my little monkey is in the hospital again with a sudden bout of pneumonia, and again I find myself studying the most obscure and dusty regions of my mind. I try to stay positive, knowing that she’s been through more in 3 years than I in my 36 could ever imagine. She’s partly responsible for my overcoming so much negativity. I see her and I realize it takes too much to be angry at the world no matter how assinine it is. So why does this happen? Why do children have to suffer? I know its all the delicate balance of cause and effect, two sides of a single coin. I understand the basics of karma on an intellectual level, but at times like this I sit up all night trying to grasp it emotionally. It’s so hard sometimes to see past my immediate self, this nasty little container I call me. Maybe I just need to cease the thinking altogether, become a mere reactor. Put a coin in I spit out a gumball. Or a condom dispenser at the Circle K- that’d be the life. But with my luck I’d just turn into one of the people I roll my eyes at, those I used to spend hours brooding about why I have to share my planet at all with these apes in flipflops with their 62oz BigGulps and malodorous offspring. My fellow Americans who vote with their teeth, holding a rifle in one hand and a Mountain Dew in the other. And yet I’m not bitter. Confused, saddened, but not bitter. Because monkey has taught me that life’s a butter dream. I can smile now. It makes no logical sense, but it’s okay.
Yoshoba.